OK. So I have been known to put a foot in my mouth — only figuratively speaking, of course — at times but come on …
So let’s call first party “Accomplice 1.” So A1 meets this guy (let’s call him Don Fisten-berg for reasons you will soon find out) at a club . They have a good time and DF is not only good-looking (in that kind of slutty varsity lacrosse kind of way; aren’t they always the ones; he’s wearing a tee-shirt that says “Yale” but according to A1 it should have said “Impale”) but could actually hold a pretty decent conversation. In gay terms, of course, this could all conspire to be the sounds of wedding bells, there yonder. Ha. So things are going well.
They are partying it up at this club where they both are getting hit on incessantly and they both decide it’s time to leave so they can get to “know one another better.” So DF comes up with a bright idea that A1 should come back with him to his place. (This is when gay men should know it won’t lead to marriage.) OK, so A1 decided to take DF up on this offer because 1.) he thinks he’s hot and 2.) he is bored and horny enough to see where this will all lead.
So one thing leads to another and they are back at DF’s place and getting hot and heavy but DF is more than meets the eye, arm, whatever. Seems he is into some kinky fare. See DF doesn’t like to be played with at arm’s length (if you know what I mean) and things get more than just kinky as the night progresses. (I bet A1 wishes the term fisticuffs wasn’t so literal for DF.)
A1 complies though because, again, he’s bored, horny and thinks DF is hot! DF likes more than a handful (if you know what I mean) so kinky deeds are done and A1 decides it’s time for the walk of shame to DF’s bathroom (hopefully where he then disinfects his entire body and burns his clothes with a spark from a nearby fluorescent bulb).
So what I am sure is largely due to A1’s dire need to cleanse himself of his sins, the sink starts overflowing! (From now on carry a travel size bottle of bleach, A1!) So DF comes up behind him and says, with clear agitation in his voice, “…Yeah, the sink does that from time to time. No need to freak out; you seemed freaked out. It’s just a sink man!” He continues ranting and raving about the sink. A1, after realizing DF wasn’t kidding or trying to come up with some witty post-coitus (well, not so much) banter, looks back at him in utter awe and says, “I just had my fist in your *** and you think I am freaked out about a clogged drain?!?!”
Come on, DF! Get the fist out your *** and be sensible here! Of course, it was the drain A1 was worried about! Which gay man has faulty pipes?!?! Kink?!?! Sure!!! But faulty pipes!?!?
Where does A1 find these blokes?!?!