po-low1So I am not one for outing people – well, unless, they are annoying. This is a story I wanted to tell a while ago but was unable to globally (before I caved to the glorious-ness that is BLOGGING).

So over the summer when I was consulting for those hapless four months, I served as a Marketing Director for one of my fashion clients and a national campaign for their east coast division. One of my duties was to do PR (onsite and off) for a movie premiere they were helping to throw. Well, one of the movie’s stars made me realize that Wendy Williams isn’t quite as dumb as she looks.

So Wendy, she historically had called first party (let’s call him POLO; it will make more sense later) all sorts of things besides…well…um… straight. In my mind, this guy who is well-known for being one of the most successful African-American models and one of Ralph Lauren’s muses tipped off my gaydar the moment he stepped out of his limo and, more so later, when he scoffed at a beautiful reporter and condescendingly told her “who are you?” when she asked him an obvious journalistic question. (Dumb ass, you are on a red carpet at a movie premiere, premiering a movie you co-star in! She has a microphone in her hand; who else could she but a journalist.)

Things were really solidified for me when earlier a man (let’s call him Accomplice 1) came decked out in what seemed a perfect match to what POLO would later arrive in. A1 came to me and another event publicist on hand and said in a voice that screamed ‘I am here, I am queer and I am know Rupert Everett personally’: “Hey, could you help me? I am a good friend of POLO’s and he said I should come to you for my ticket. He is on his way but I wanted to have it in hand just in case.” The way A1 said “good friend” reeked of Imposter Perfume (if you know what I mean), ownership, and made me think they were much more than just “friends.” That coupled with the fact that they were identically dressed and A1 looked an exact physical replica of POLO except for the fact he had lighter skin, left gerber daises, discos, Dave Barton gym memberships, techno music, and Madonna (and you know what that means) all dancing in my head.

So when POLO is doing his interviews, A1 is on the sidelines talking to what I could only assume is POLO’s beard (some girl whom by all appearances he wouldn’t be caught dead with even if he were, in fact, straight) and they are laughing it up like “girlfriends.” Me? I was just waiting for the police officer from the Village People to come and arrest all those with infractions. Just all seemed way to suspicious!

Fittingly enough, POLO and A1 seemed all too googly-eyed with one another during the actual screening – of course, beard right between them wishing and hoping and praying. Wonder how much he’s paying her?!?!

Forget tags, file under HOT MESS (my little homage to Wendy)!



4 Responses to Po-LOW

  1. David says:

    Haha! Two thumbs up! I cannot deal with Pole?Oh! (the games never end!)

  2. Frances says:

    Francis! You really are as awesome as Harold makes you sound, lol.

    You are simply hilarious! Loved all the entries and am def looking forward to reading more. ❤

  3. Designertre says:

    HOW YOU DOIN?!!! Awwwwroiit

  4. […] So you know how my dissenters will sometimes say I have an overwrought and almost sick need to out celebrities!  Well, if you don’t know now you know!  They’ve been saying it and, yes, more […]

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