You know many have said I am not gay enough. I am sure it has to do with my overwrought obsession with women. I love having them around, I love looking at them, I just appreciate them too much they say. Let’s not even get into my love for the lesbians! Well, anyhoo, I have been obsessed with porn-star-turned-mogul Jenna Jameson for YEARS now.
I remember one day back in college sitting uncomfortably on a dusty plaid couch in some dorm, next to a lesbian friend of mine, as we watched an interesting porn. I don’t know how we got ourselves into that situation but I am sure it involved vodka, shot glasses, and levels of boredom that were indescribable. Anyhoo, there, on one of those small tvs with a built-in VCR player, I saw this blond bombshell gyrating on a motorcycle in some huge expanse of a parking lot. Right away, I thought three things: a.) Who is she? b.) Did Harley Davidson really intend for its bucket seats to be used that way? c.) Um, wow, she has no hair down there. Anyhoo, that’s when my obsession started.
It wouldn’t be until a year later that I realized she was the same girl I’d seen on Howard Stern detailing the sordid details of her life. Jameson never denied that she owes much of her success to Stern and her visits to the show. And she has a lot to be grateful for as she still remains the most successful porn star to date.
This year Jameson gave birth to twin boys (the father is UFC Champion Tito Ortiz) and she’s looking better than ever! I have to say pre-pregnancy, I was getting a little worried with all that weight she was losing as she looked more like the LA-cliche rather than the buxom hottie she truly is. Stay that way, Jenna! Me Likey! ME LIKEY A LOT!
File under: Um, I need a gay intervention! Pass me my tight jeans, stat!