<<REWIND: Greg Scarnici's “12 Inch Freak”

September 3, 2009

Photo Credit: Jeff Eason

Photo Credit: Jeff Eason

TMZ, Perezhilton, MTV and many others are in love with Greg Scarnici, the New York comedian who has been a viral video hit with over seven million hits.  His parodies of Britney Spears, Beyonce, Amy Winehouse and others have garnered him a lot of attention and it’s time to capitalize, baby.  You go, boy!

Scarnici has 12 inches for his fans and he wants you to put it in your slot.  Your CD-rom (to transfer to ITunes) and/or CD player of course!  He will release 12 Inch Freak, an album that moves away from ripping apart the celebs and instead parodies dance music genres such as Hip Hop, New Wave, House, Electro, Slow Jam.

Some of the singles featured will be the ode to bisexuality “Curious” (featured on MTV), “Oooh…Yeah…”, “I Wanna…” and “Hater Anthem.”  The latter video will debut on September 15th on YouTube.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Gimme More (Pills) – Greg & Mario vs….“, posted with vodpod


Kings of Leon Remixed, Reloaded…

August 27, 2009
Photo Credit: nme magazine

Photo Credit: nme magazine

Kings of Leon’s ONLY_BY_THE_NIGHT remains one of my fave albums in recent years.  There is nothing better than that undeniable inflection in a singer’s voice that makes you recognize him/her from the hint of one note.    And it’s front man Caleb Followill’s distinctive voice that truly takes this album’s well-written and masterfully-produced songs into a total different stratosphere.  Honestly, I hadn’t felt this blown away by an album since Radiohead’s OK Computer!

So it is no surprise that I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for what Billboard and MTV report will be the release of a ONLY_BY_THE_NIGHT remix album.  Both sources report collaborators would include Linkin Park, Pharrell Williams, Mark Ronson and Justin Timberlake.

I am not one for remix albums.  As the old adage goes: don’t try to fix something that ain’t broken.  However, I have a sneaking suspicion that this Leon project will take some errant course much like the beloved and very successful Bjork remix album, Telegram — which was comparable and in some regards even better than its predecessor Post.

File under: Please do a remix of “Sex on Fire” with J.T.

Big Poppa ain’t so BIG

August 11, 2009


Photo Credit: TMZ

Photo Credit: TMZ

The Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kim Zolciak had been talking up her adulterous-two-timing “Big Poppa” for one and 1/6 seasons now of the Bravo series.  With the name Big Poppa and what Zolciak described as his need to be out of the spotlight because of his noteriety and marital-status, one would think we were talking about some well-known media mogul or something.  In fact, gossip had been running rampant since the first season of Atlanta aired that it was real estate honcho, Lee Najjar.  Guess what?  It’s so true!

Najjar maybe a hit with the Atlanta glitterati but he by no means is a”celebrity” as Zolciak touted nor is he that BIG in stature either.  People have been dying for pictures of the two of them to confirm their suspicions.  Well, they are out thanks to my friends over at TMZ. The photos are from last November surely during one of their illicit trysts.  

Diminutive Najjar’s palacial pad was also featured on MTV’s “Teen Cribs” not too long ago, with his kids and wife in tow.  

I think NeNe was right: keep your legs closed to married men! I still think — much like most of the Housewives — Zolciak is a beautifully train-wrecked hot mess!  I can’t stop watching though!

File under: Stop calling him that!


January 11, 2009


So you guys know how I am the envy of a hoard of teenage girls and some really confused teenage and middle-age boys/men, right?  Well, that’s why I am blogging about it so you will know.  SHIT! 

So, anyways, I happen to work right next to where they shoot some integral scenes for Gossip Girl.  I was never into it but YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE said I would find it rather entertaining so I bought the first season DVD and did find it rather amusing. XoXo.  So it’s season 2 and I feel really gay gay gay for still tuning in every week to see what over-indulgent melodramatic tragedies our poor little rich kids could possibly be facing.  With their Louis Vuitton clutches in hand, the world could be so brutal!

But back to the fact that it took me a good month to even recognize they were shooting right next door (and the scenes were outside mind you).  This shows how much I mind my own business (or more like how often I am stuck in my office like a caged bird.  Right, Maya Angelou?  You tell ’em, girl!)  I’d been watching the show and didn’t even recognize the landmarks from the neighborhood. 

But my cluelessness aside, let’s go to the cast.   So I have to  start by saying that I am a Starfucker (not that I have ever; well, there was that one time but I think an MTV reality “star” hardly counts).  But, yeah, it’s like as long as you are on TV I find you hot.  This is why when I saw Sam Champion (did he finally come out publicly yet?  I ain’t blind item-ing this ass) in cutoff shorts with fringe, a tank, and roller blades in the Chelsea-Flatiron border I was sooooo confused.  I know the “cool” part of me should have been appalled, disgusted, and maybe even belligerent with him (I mean fringe??? Rollerblades???  Chelsea???)  but the Starfucker part of me said he’s a weatherman!!!   From ABC!!!  (I think I need some sort of intervention!!!  Seriously!!!)

But, yeah, I keep digressing.  The cast… The cast…  Gossip Girl… Well, that one that plays Blair?  She is actually really really hot in person; very cute.  I’d do her!!!  The blonde?  Not so much.  Is that weird?  Just seems like she would be cute in person.  Not!  And Dan, oh Dan, why in the world do they put more makeup on you than the females in the show.  On the show, I absolutely fell in love with him.  I wanted a Dan for myself.  You know?  The sweet unsullied wannabe writer (he reminds me of someone I know very well).  But he’s just not cute in person at all.  Yes, girls, gays and the confused, I saw him pretty close up.  He delivered some lines and had to appear as if was walking out of the scene and did so at the expanse only a few feet away from where I and some other onlookers were.   Well, we were face to face and this dude is F.U.G.L.Y.!  Ugh. 

I haven’t gotten to see the rest of the cast but I am sure I will have some interesting stories to tell soon.  Well, that’s if my job, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, won’t keep me locked up tight for a century of lonely nights, waiting for someone to release me (Right, Christina Aguilera?  You tell ’em, girl!)

Side bar before I sign off: Some of the extras are actually really hot though I feel really weird finding actors and actresses in schoolboy/girl uniforms cute! 

Signing off…  XOXO, Gossip Boy!!!

Thanks, Alex P. Keaton

January 7, 2009
alex_p_keatonMy mom (God bless her soul) had done what many parents from her generation and racial background have and will continue to do: she’d instilled — OK, pounded, if you will — into her children’s heads the virtues of going to school, working hard, not leaving your drink at a party unattended, being responsible and above all… take no other job but that of a doctor or a lawyer.

“It would be good to have a doctor or lawyer in the family,” she could be found saying, regardless of the day, time, or month (though I found certain times of the month she cried while saying it; no further comment necessary). She’d often say it not to anyone in particular, staring at some far off place in a corner of a room, I could tell hoping and praying that by “accident” one of her kids would trip, fall and ingest what she said as their life’s dream/motto. (It would be years and a few cocktails later before I could tell Mom after one of these bouts that the closest she was going to ever get to a lawyer in the family was the one my infidel older YOU KNOW WHO hired to deal with those unpaid parking tickets… yeah… parkings tickets… that’s it… parking tickets! I will NOT be supeanaed! I will NOT be supeanaed! I will NOT be supeanaed!)

As I sit in my office, where I am an Assoc Director of Development for a nonprofit (that doesn’t mean no revenue or no salary, MOM!), I think about my trajectory here and how in many ways I am happy I didn’t bend to the fold. I remember after graduating from PENN, calling a mentor of mine (this guy at MTV) who told me that I had to do what made me happy. He said that many people he went to school with went for the big bucks (i.e., for PENN, that being investment banking and consulting) but he didn’t feel a love for that stuff and knew he wanted a career in entertainment. He told stories of long drawn out internships, eating Raymon Noodles (universal sign of poor-dom) and the years of moving up the ladder while his friends were making double, triple, if not more of what he was making. Then, when we began talking, he was in his early thirties and a VP of SOMETHING (I don’t recall) at MTV, not only making a sizable fortune but doing something that made him want to come in everyday! His friends? He said many of them were completely and utterly unhappy! Rich but unhappy. And, yes, I think you can be both at the same time! Yeah, yeah, I know poor and unhappy is worse!

Though I had been sure then — that I too wanted to do what I loved and not be so consumed with making hoards of money — I remember a time believing my mom and thinking I wasn’t worth much unless I was a doctor or a lawyer. (I guess her incessant pleas stuck… if even for a little bit.) So I was on one of those courses (mostly law) — prodded on by my mom’s oooohs, ahhhhs, niiiiiiiiice and if-you-do-I-will-buy-you-a-car — since elementary school if you can believe. Before I could even walk myself home from school I was touting the virtues of a law degree and could tell you why Roe vs Wade “was like soooooo historic and stuff like that… like totally!” (Yes, that last bit was a direct quote from my own personal vault!)

Of course, I blame Alex P. Keaton more than I do my mom though — for this crazy desire to be successful. You know? Alex P. Keaton! From Family Ties! As a kid, I remember watching that show and thinking I want to be smart too! Looking back now I think I just had a crush on him! Today, I would have just masturbated to his likeness, gotten it over with and went back to playing Nintendo or something. But, yeah, Michael J. Fox was a dreamboat and I felt I had to be just as smart as he was… well, in the show! Do you remember by the end of the run of the show, they wanted us to believe that Jennifer Keaton (played so eloquently by Academy Award winning Tina Yothers…ha…ha…) was the smartest of the two and worse yet that Mallory was actually smart. Oh please! Wait. Though there was that time he took speed to stay up for a test! Guess that was kinda dumb! (I would later see that firsthand at YOU KNOW WHERE! Not me! My very privileged cohorts; I preferred a more psychedelic fare.) But, wait, Jennifer wore her hair crimped and, wait, wait, she also played in a band on the show! See, told you Alex had her beat!

Yeah, well, if it weren’t for Alex, I wouldn’t want to be smart and wouldn’t have had the inclination to study my bum off so that I could pull off what I thought it took to get into a good law school (even if, at the time, the likelihood of which was about 15 years away). That I would get accepted to UPENN for premed and then drop the major a week later for economics is another story — one that involves cytoplasm and some know-it-all ivy-leaguers. Suffice it to say, I am glad that I decided to go that route and to then go the journalism route and then to go the nonprofit route and then to go the public relations route and then to go the nonprofit route again — or some weird permutation thereof.

So… gist? Make your kids watch TV or at least reruns of “Family Ties” (think it airs on TV Land or some crap like that). Maybe they will end up just like me… a confused mess but one that can say he is happy and paid — more or less — with what he is doing with his life!!!